


If Your Heart Has A Hole (I'll Cover It With My Hands)

by taegiradar



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: 12 fics and i still dont know how to tag, Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Kinda, M/M, No Smut, Not Beta Read, Red String of Fate, Soulmates, Strangers to Lovers, hueningkai isnt in this, im sorry, slight crack, sunwoo is there for a bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:48:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25826929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taegiradar/pseuds/taegiradar
Summary: Taehyun and Beomgyu aren't perfect people.And as they get to know each other,they realise they don't have to be.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Kang Taehyun, Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 9
Kudos: 79





	If Your Heart Has A Hole (I'll Cover It With My Hands)

**Author's Note:**

> for helena ♡
> 
> spotify playlist for this fic - https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5vcLep2midYz3FrEGaEI2j?si=-6NYbabIRYOK6VNt77Epvw (will be posted on twitter too!)

“When are you gonna stop staring at him like that and actually start talking to him?” Soobin takes another bite of his bread, and rolls his eyes.

Beomgyu shakes his head, eyes still set on the red head sitting across the room.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Beomgyu, is of course, lying. He knows exactly what Soobin is talking about, because this is a popular topic of discussion between them. Ever since Kang Taehyun first transferred to their school, 6 months and 15 days ago. (But nobody’s counting).

(Beomgyu's _definitely_ counting).

“He’s gonna notice, you know. If not him then his friends. You are way too obvious.” Soobin shakes his head and pouts at the last piece of bread in his hands. Bummer.

“Obvious? Hyung I can guarantee you I am the most subtle person when it comes to crushes. He will never know.” Beomgyu says with confidence. And just like fate has it, a cough is heard behind them. They both turn around, looking up at the person trying to catch their attention. Beomgyu inwardly curses. Choi Yeonjun.

“Hey… Beomgyu, right?" The senior asks. The owner of said name nods his head slowly, scared of his next words.

Yeonjun chuckles when he notices the look of fear on the younger. "Relax. I just wanted to give you some advice -" Yeonjun eyes soften. "You might wanna tone down on the heart eyes. Little Taehyun over there doesn’t date. Says it distracts him from academics.” He scoffs, like that statement personally offends him.

Beomgyu turns bright red, ears and all. He ducks his head down, making himself as small as possible. “I-I’ll stop. I’m sorry!”

Yeonjun chuckles, “No need to apologise, dude. Just don’t wanna let you get your hopes up for nothing.”

The older gives a friendly pat on poor Beomgyu’s back and moves to join Taehyun at the other table, leaving Beomgyu and Soobin with pouts on their faces.

“He’s… So cool…” Soobin says, in awe. Beomgyu snaps out of his daze and slaps Soobin in the arm.

“Stop drooling over him! Focus on me! He just told me I have zero chance with Taehyun! My life is over!” Beomgyu whines, shaking Soobin like his life depended on it.

“It’s funny that you thought you even had a chance in the first place.” Soobin is instantly attacked by Beomgyu again, this time with a lot more force.

“You are so annoying.” Beomgyu stands up, grabbing his food tray more aggressively than necessary, and walks out of the cafeteria, ears still red as ever.

In his frenzy, he misses a pair of eyes that have been watching his every movement, right until the doors close behind him. But he doesn’t need to know that. Of course not.

———

"What are you doing." Soobin stares at his best friend, pure disappointment on his face. He has no idea how he's put up with the younger for 3 years now.

The younger, who is currently sitting on the other side of the cafeteria, far away from their usual spot, looks up at Soobin, fake innocence plastered on his face.

"Eating!" Beomgyu, too cheerful for it not to be suspicious.

"Why are you suddenly sitting at the table near the dustbin? I tried looking for you in our usual spot but you weren't there." Soobin doesn't place his food tray on the table. He'd rather die than put his food near that dustbin.

"I just wanted to try something different! You know... Venture out." Beomgyu shoves more rice into his mouth, clearly trying to escape this conversation.

Soobin eyes Beomgyu suspiciously, and then the incident from yesterday pops into his head.

"You're hiding from Taehyun, aren't you?"

Beomgyu chokes on his rice. He spends a good minute coughing, face once again red and tears starting to pour from his eyes. God, he really needs to get his shit together. Soobin just smiles at his younger friend, biting back a laugh. Kinda deserved, he thinks.

Beomgyu recovers from his coughing fit, and buries his face in his hands. "I just thought... If I saw him less, my stupid crush would go away." He whines. "I even changed my seat in class..." Because he was (of course) classmates with Taehyun. Taehyun, who is a year younger than him, but because he's some young genius, skipped a grade and now taunts Beomgyu from the front of the class. (Not actually – Taehyun has never interacted with Beomgyu besides on the first day he transferred in, introducing himself with a smile that Beomgyu can never forget).

Soobin raises his eyebrow at that, not expecting the younger to go that far. "Seriously? Are you planning on hiding from him the entire semester?"

"Wrong. Not the entire semester." He pauses for dramatic effect. "For the rest of my life, actually." Beomgyu shoves the last of his meal into his mouth. Soobin still hasn't sat down.

"You know what, I'm not gonna do this with you." Soobin walks away from Beomgyu, who is now gaping, looking like a goldfish gasping for air.

Soobin walks over to the table right next to Taehyun's, and makes a big show out of it. Beomgyu stares in horror, as Soobin says something to Taehyun, who looked over in curiosity. He doesn't know what he said, but it causes the red head to look around, as if searching for someone. Beomgyu ducks his head down, praying to every god out there that he doesn't see him. Beomgyu really wants to disappear right about now.

After 3 minutes of bending over, his back already aching, Beomgyu glances over to the table, and breathes a sigh of relief as he finds it empty. He straightens up again, cursing as his bones crack in a not so satisfying way. Anxiety washes away as he closes his eyes and leans on the side, thankful the entire ordeal is over. In his head, he starts thinking of ways to kill his hyung without anyone noticing.

But clearly, the universe has other, more sinister plans.

"Are you avoiding me?" A voice brings Beomgyu away from his daydreams of pushing Soobin off a cliff, and back to reality, where he freezes in spot.

God, give him a fucking break.

"Taehyun! Haha... What? Avoiding you? Why would I do that?" Beomgyu is, admittedly, not good at hiding his crush.

Taehyun raises an eyebrow at that statement. Why do people keep doing that to Beomgyu? Is he really that puzzling?

"You moved from your usual seat behind me to the seat furthest away from me, and you just decided to sit here, next to that...awful dustbin, when you've been sitting at your usual table every single day since I first met you?" Beomgyu tries to argue, but is interrupted by Taehyun again. "Don't say you thought I wouldn't notice."

Beomgyu blushes at that, his cheeks growing hot. "I wasn't avoiding you, per say. I just wanted to get you out of my sight for a while."

Taehyun widens his eyes as the words register in his head, taking offence.

Beomgyu splutters, just realizing how that might have sounded. "NO! Nonono... I didn't mean it like that, God no. I like looking at you! I like looking at you way too much! I just-" He blurts out, devastation overcoming him as he realized what he just said.

God, he really needed to shut his damn mouth.

"I'm gonna go. Class. Yeah." He doesn't even look up at Taehyun again, just grabbing his stuff and running out of the cafeteria, just like the day before. Man, this place is so cursed.

———

Taehyun stares after Beomgyu, just like the day before, and the day before that, and like almost every day since he first met the younger. He doesn't know why, but the taller boy has always intrigued him. They haven't had an actual conversation before this one, but there's an aura surrounding him that pulls Taehyun in. Most days, he ignores it. But today, with Soobin not so subtly hinting at him to look for Beomgyu, he decides to give into that pull.

He sighs, not really understanding why the younger was so intimated by him. It's not like he was scary, right? Sure, he didn't really open up to others and sometimes his pure determination for doing well in school gets in the way of some things, but he's not scary. He wants to talk to Beomgyu about this, but he doesn't know how. Having a friend in his class would be nice, he figures.

Taehyun catches up to Yeonjun again, and a thought pops into his head. Maybe he's intimidated because he's close to Yeonjun? The older is a popular guy, friends with everyone and has countless of people of all genders crushing on him. Which is funny, because he's known Yeonjun since they were kids, and he thinks if people knew about the embarrassing things his hyung has done in the past, their surface level crushes wouldn't exist.

"Hey, Hyunnie. Did you talk to Beomgyu?" Yeonjun asks, as they both walk to their classes.

"Barely. He ran off before we could have an actual conversation."

Yeonjun chuckles. "Seems about right. That kid's always running away."

"I think he's intimidated by me. But like, I don't know why? But I think it's your fault." Taehyun pokes at Yeonjun's arm accusingly.

The older gasps, clearly offended. "What? What did _I_ do???" He stares at Taehyun like he's crazy.

"You're too popular. He probably thinks I'm intimidating by association. Why do you have to be so popular? You're not even that interesting." Taehyun whines.

Yeonjun holds his chest dramatically, stopping in his tracks as he exclaims. "Oh you hurt me, Taehyun. You broke my heart. Our friendship is over!"

Taehyun rolls his eyes and continues walking without his hyung.

Yeonjun catches up with him, and bumps his shoulder. "But real talk, you really don't know why?"

Taehyun nods.

"He likes you, dude. Like full on, heart eyed crush on you. How have you not noticed?" Yeonjun scoffs at his friend's obliviousness.

Before Taehyun can say anything, Yeonjun is saying goodbye and rushing off to his class in the senior block, leaving Taehyun in the middle of the hallway, more confused than ever.

"He likes...Me?" He mumbles to himself.

Yeonjun must be crazy.

———

For the rest of the week, Beomgyu continues to avoid Taehyun at all cost. Sitting at the back of the class, going back to his usual spot in the cafeteria, but this time facing away from Taehyun, and completely 180-ing if he sees the younger walking in his direction. Beomgyu has one too many times ran late for class because he had to go an entire round the block just to avoid bumping into Taehyun. Soobin says he's taking it too far, but Beomgyu says this is for his own health and well-being.

"I absolutely cannot face him ever again. I basically admitted that I liked him! I literally have no other choice." Beomgyu whines, dramatic as ever. Maybe if he wasn't so dramatic, if he took things the way they are, he wouldn't be here today. But alas, that's not who he is and Beomgyu will remain dramatic until the day he dies.

They are back in the cafeteria, the setting of all of Beomgyu's worst nightmares lately. He almost tried to convince Soobin to eat in the library instead, but that’s too much even for Beomgyu’s standards.

“You know you can’t avoid him forever right? What if the teacher has a pair project and you end up with him? Maybe you’ll end up like every cliché love story and live happily ever after.” Soobin bites into his bread, this time shaped like a panda. Beomgyu never understood why he loved the snack so much.

Beomgyu gives Soobin a death stare, knowing his hyung will perfectly understand him.

Soobin thinks for a moment, and suddenly an idea hits him.

“Flirt with him!” Soobin exclaims, a bit too loud.

Beomgyu rushes to shut him up, looking behind to see if Taehyun heard. As Beomgyu glances over to the cursed table, he makes direct eye contact with Taehyun.

Well, fuck.

Taehyun gives him a weird look, which Beomgyu just smiles sheepishly and turns back to Soobin, attacking him with everything he got.

“WHAT THE HELL, HYUNG?” He whisper-shouts.

Soobin, completely unfazed, takes another bite of his bread and continues explaining his so-called 'genius idea'.

“You want to get rid of the crush, right? And since you’re _obviously_ convinced he won’t like you back, flirt with him until he gets annoyed with YOU and then he starts avoiding YOU instead! Then you don’t have to do all the work!” Soobin explains, a big smile on his face.

Soobin has definitely gone crazy.

“In WHAT universe do you think that will ever work, hyung? Are you kidding?” Beomgyu is almost speechless.

Soobin shrugs as he eats the last piece of his bread. He's pouting because of it, clearly not as invested in the conversation as Beomgyu is. “You got any other ideas?”

The bell rings, signifying the end of lunch. The rest of the Friday goes by normally (with Beomgyu still avoiding Taehyun), and for the rest of the weekend, the question still rings inside his head.

_Are_ there any other ideas?

———

Monday comes, and Beomgyu enters the school gates with a clear mission in mind: Find Taehyun.

A weekend is a long time to be thinking about a single question, to be fair. Beomgyu spent several hours of his life trying to think of ways to solve his Taehyun issue, but his mind always went back to Soobin’s suggestion.

So, he’s gonna flirt with Taehyun.

Don’t get him wrong, he hates this. But after writing 3 pages worth of ideas under ‘Project: Stop Crushing On Taehyun’, this idea was the one he hated the least.

Beomgyu has never had a boyfriend before, nor has he genuinely flirted with anyone, but he does have an overly dramatic personality and unwavering determination if he puts his mind to something. That should be enough. (He really hopes it's enough.)

He walks through the school hallways, heading straight to his first class. It’s still early (well, early for Beomgyu) but the black haired boy has a plan in mind and this is step one.

He stands at the door of his classroom, waiting for the boy who will soon be the center of Beomgyu’s attention (not like he wasn’t already before, but you get what he means).

When he spots the familiar red head, he straightens up, puts on his best smile, and holds out the pack of gummies he bought. As Taehyun approaches him with a puzzled look on his face, Beomgyu lets himself feel shy for a few seconds. He still does really like this boy.

“Here, hyung. I bought some gummies for you! Sweet - just like you.” Beomgyu inwardly cringes. That sounded a lot less awful in his head.

Taehyun, with some hesitation, accepts the packet of gummies. He has a million questions in his head, but he settles for one. “I thought you were avoiding me?”

Beomgyu shakes his head, and leans on the door frame. “I told you, I’m not avoiding you.” Beomgyu continues to lie. “Just coincidences.”

Taehyun doesn’t buy that for a second, but accepts the excuse anyway. He looks down at the packet of gummies - it’s his favorite type.

“How did you know I like these?” Taehyun asks, a strange warm feeling in his chest growing.

Beomgyu's heart skips a beat. “It’s actually my favorite one! So I guess we have similar tastes.” Beomgyu winks, and silently marvels at the way Taehyun’s ears turn slightly red.

“Thanks, Beomgyu.”

“Gyu is fine, love.” Beomgyu smirks, and walks into class without looking back. He returns to his original seat behind Taehyun, and takes out his materials for today’s lesson.

He pretends not to, but he notices Taehyun only coming into class a full minute after he does.

This plan might actually work.

———

The next day, Beomgyu is sitting at their table, this time facing Taehyun once again. Soobin is going on about how capitalism has ruined society - or something like that - but Beomgyu is too distracted, stealing glances at Taehyun every few seconds.

“-is why we as a society have progressed past the need for fast fashion brands- Are you even listening to me?” Soobin claps right in front of Beomgyu’s face, who is completely unfazed.

“Yeah yeah eat the rich fuck capitalism I know! Hyung you talk about this every other day. I need to pay attention to Taehyun. I’m waiting for the perfect moment to-” Beomgyu cuts himself off and quickly rises from his seat, before regaining himself to look effortless, casual.

Soobin stares in confusion as his best friend walks towards Taehyun, who had just gotten up from his own table.

Beomgyu, as casually as possible (which isn’t much), pretends to walk past Taehyun and ‘accidentally’ bumps into him.

God, Soobin has second hand embarrassment just watching.

“Oh! I’m so sorry!” Beomgyu fake apologises, as if he didn’t plan this entire thing the night before.

Before Taehyun can even say anything back, Beomgyu speaks up again. “Oh gosh! Are my eyes deceiving me? Because I think I just bumped into an angel!”

Taehyun’s entire face turns red as he hides behind his fringe. Taehyun is rarely ever speechless, but this? This is something else.

“What are you doing, Be- Gyu?” Taehyun tilts his head, and Beomgyu tries his best not to swoon in real life. God, how can he be so cute?

Acting oblivious, Beomgyu tilts his head in the same direction, and smiles. “What do you mean?”

“You’re being extra…nice?”

“And I can’t?”

Taehyun is silent for a while. “Okay.”

Beomgyu honestly expected the younger to give more arguments, but he took it anyway.

“Well, see you in class, angel!” Beomgyu gives his signature wink and leaves, dragging Soobin along.

Taehyun is more confused than ever.

What in the world is that boy up to?

———

Over the course of the week, Beomgyu continues to not so subtly flirt with Taehyun, taking every moment to call him a pet name, to compliment him, or to give more of his favorite gummies.

He even offered to carry Taehyun’s bag, once. The younger refused, but it was cute the way he was so adamant about it.

It’s a Friday once again, and Soobin is over at Beomgyu’s house, having their bi-weekly movie nights.

“So, is my genius idea working?”

Kimi No Nawa is playing on the tv, but they’ve already watched it about 20 times now, so they don’t need to pay too much attention.

Beomgyu grabs another chip, and thinks about the question.

_Is it working?_

Well, Taehyun hasn’t started avoiding him yet, so ‘Project: Stop Crushing On Taehyun’ isn’t successful just yet, but he thinks he might get there soon.

“I think so? I mean, he gets all red whenever I flirt with him and he either runs away or completely freezes up. He gets so awkward about it, too. So if I keep this up he’ll probably start avoiding me!” Beomgyu explains happily, completely oblivious.

Soobin stares at his best friend, speechless.

God, why the hell did he pick this idiot to be his best friend?

“You. Are. So. Dumb.” Soobin exaggerates every word, making sure Beomgyu understands just how stupid he is.

“What? Why?” Beomgyu is genuinely confused. God bless his heart.

“I think you’re looking at it all wrong. He’s not annoyed by you. He’s the complete opposite.”

Beomgyu is still confused. How dense is he?

“HE LIKES YOU!” Soobin screams, just as the climax of the movie plays on screen.

Finally, something clicks in Beomgyu’s head.

_Oh._

———

Taehyun, to put it frankly, is having one of the most confusing weeks of his life.

It first started with Beomgyu ignoring him, then turning the tables and flirting with him every single chance he got.

Taehyun’s not stupid. Ever since Yeonjun told him about it, the red head accepted that Beomgyu has a crush on him. He’s not confused about that.

His _own_ feelings, however. Now that’s another story.

Taehyun has had crushes before. He knows what it feels like, to have your heart race and thoughts about said crush consuming your entire day. So he knows what he's _supposed_ to feel like - but the way Beomgyu makes him feel, however - is different.

He gets the butterflies in his stomach, his face heats up and he constantly thinks about the pet names the older throws casually at him. He gets all that, but he also gets a pinch to the heart.

He doesn’t know how to explain it, because he’s never felt it before. It’s not necessarily a bad feeling, but it’s not completely a nice one as well. He has tried asking Yeonjun about it, but the older only gave him a weird look, and a off-handed ‘Just tell him’, which was of no use at all. How was he supposed to explain a feeling even he didn’t understand?

And not to mention the other looming issue. Nobody has had an actual crush on Taehyun before. Not to this extent, at least. Every time Taehyun thinks about it, ponders about the basic fact that Choi Beomgyu - cute, interesting, dramatic Choi Beomgyu - has a crush on him, he freaks out. The nasty prickles of insecurity crawl up Taehyun’s chest, telling him it’s all a lie. Nobody could like him. Who would? Boring, closed off Taehyun? He could barely make friends - Yeonjun being the closest one he has in the school (and they met when they were kids). And to have someone older, someone like Beomgyu to crush on him? Impossible, his brain supplies.

His rational brain knows this is all stupid, that his insecurities are his inner demon’s thoughts and it really isn’t as bad as he thinks - but he’s only so strong.

And maybe, just maybe - He might only _think_ he likes Beomgyu, because the older is the only person who’s ever showed him this much affection.

Just maybe.

———

The week after that, Taehyun thought Beomgyu might grow tired and stop with all the flirting. But god, was he wrong. In fact, Beomgyu _intensified_ it. He began initiating more skinship between the two (and every single time, the pinch in Taehyun’s heart doubles). He started blowing kisses to Taehyun, leaving the younger the same shade as his hair.

It kept making Taehyun feel almost helpless. The confusion in his head building up until it all inevitably started crashing down.

He sees Beomgyu in the hallway after school, oblivious to Taehyun who is now running towards him. He grabs his arm, Beomgyu gasping in shock, and pulls him into the nearest empty classroom.

“What do you want?” Taehyun tries his best not to raise his voice, but he’s fucking tired of dealing with the million voices in his head that he wants to make sure he can control the one he knows he can.

Beomgyu, clueless as always, smiles.

“Taehyun, I like you.” Beomgyu says it like it’s so easy.

It’s not. It shouldn’t be.

Beomgyu places a hand on Taehyun’s arm. The pinch in his heart is almost unbearable now.

“And I think you like me too.” Beomgyu has the sweetest smile on his face, his eyes are full of hope and anticipation. Everything Taehyun isn’t feeling right now.

Taehyun belatedly flinches his arm away from Beomgyu’s touch.

Control. Control the things you can.

“Tae-”

“I don’t.” He breathes out.

The hope in Beomgyu’s eyes dims. Taehyun tries to ignore it.

“I don’t like you, hyung.”

“But-”

“I don’t know what kind of fucked up idea you got in your brain, but I don’t like you. Your flirting is annoying. It’s too much.”

_You’re too much._

Beomgyu’s eyes no longer have any trace of hope or anticipation. It’s dark, full of hatred - and a sadness he desperately tries to hide. _Taehyun_ did that to him. Beomgyu doesn't say anything, just silently storms out of the room - leaving Taehyun staring at an empty wall.

He thought the pain in his chest would disappear. That this is what he was supposed to do.

But now, more than ever, it grips at Taehyun’s heart, crawls up his throat, suffocating him. He’s never felt a pain like this before.

He slowly falls to the ground, no energy left in him. No tears spill, no cries are made.

Just silence.

One that has never been so god damn deafening.

———

The days, weeks after that, everything seems to go back to what it was like before – back to when Beomgyu was avoiding Taehyun. Except now, they were both trying to avoid each other. It came naturally to both of them now, almost an instinct. If Beomgyu sees a flash of red, he hides. If Taehyun sees the eyes that haunt him, he runs.

It's what they both wanted, right?

Beomgyu feels sick to the stomach whenever he thinks about Taehyun now. The gut wrenching, soul destroying feeling he felt the second Taehyun said those words hasn't left his mind. It plagues him, makes him angry, makes him sad, makes him so fucking confused.

Did he read it all wrong? Did the countless blushes, the shy smiles and the lingering stares mean nothing? Was it all for show?

But most of all, was liking Beomgyu _that_ repulsing?

The words 'it's too much' keeps replaying in Beomgyu's head, refusing to leave. He knows about the unsaid words. The replacement of ' _You_ ' with ' _It_ '. He gets it. He's dramatic, he's overwhelming, he doesn't know how to shut up. Too many people have told him this for him not to have it ingrained in his mind. He fucking knows.

He stares into his hands, his brain unable to shut off. Tangled is playing on the TV this time, but he cannot hear anything other than his own heartbeat. It's been two weeks, which means Soobin is at his house again, clearly trying his best to cheer Beomgyu up. The younger doesn't know if that's even possible, at this point.

"Gyu...?" Soobin starts.

Beomgyu flinches at that nickname, once again reminded of the way Taehyun says it. The soft voice, full of what Beomgyu thought was longing, but clearly wasn't. It doesn't make sense – Soobin has been using that nickname for him for years, long before he met Taehyun. Why does everything have to be ruined by him? Why does everything remind him of the red head? Why does Beomgyu have to be so god damn dramatic?

The first tear falls slowly at first, but then Beomgyu couldn't make them stop. He's sobbing into his hands, breathing heavily as Soobin rushes to try and calm him down.

"Breathe, Gyu. Breathe for hyung, okay? Follow me. Breathe in, breathe out...That's right." Soobin holds his best friend close, rubbing comforting circles on his back. In his haze, Beomgyu has space in his heart to feel grateful for having a best friend like Soobin. He has no idea what he'd do without him.

"Thank you, hyung. I'm sor-"

"Don't finish that sentence." Soobin says sternly, but full of love and care. Always full of love and care.

In Beomgyu's head, he continues to apologise. But he keeps his mouth shut, and leans closer to Soobin, finding comfort in his warmth.

"You're gonna be okay, Gyu. I know you. You're a strong one." Soobin says with the kind of confidence Beomgyu wishes he had for himself.

For the rest of the day, they eat ice cream, watch more Disney movies, and for the first time in weeks, Beomgyu feels genuinely okay.

He'll be okay.

———

"You need to snap out of it." Yeonjun is staring fiercely at Taehyun now.

Taehyun looks up from his untouched food tray, offended. "Don't you think I've been trying? It's been 2 weeks."

"You're not trying hard enough." Yeonjun, direct as always.

"Oh and you are suddenly the judge of that?" Taehyun bites back, annoyed.

"Taehyun. You haven't properly eaten anything every single time I see you for lunch. You've missed 5 of your classes. Your dark circles are more prominent than the ones you had during your last finals. You have to snap out of it." Yeonjun is trying so hard. Taehyun feels kinda bad.

"Do you think it's fucking easy?"

"It's not. I'm not saying it is. But sometimes you act like you don't want to get out of this slump. Every day I try to get you to eat something filling, I buy your favourite food, only for you to throw it all away. I went over to your house to try and lift your spirits and you slam the door in my face. It's like you want to suffer, Hyunnie. And I'm fucking worried for you." Yeonjun lets it all out, his voice wavering. The cafeteria is definitely not a good place for this conversation, but it's now or never.

"Maybe I do that because I do deserve this. I do deserve to suffer, to lose sleep, to feel like throwing up every time I think of him. You didn't see the pain in his eyes, hyung. You didn't see what _I_ did."

Yeonjun gets up from his seat, and grabs both of their bags.

"I'm not letting you go back to class like this. Come on, my mom cooked your favourite for dinner." He doesn't allow Taehyun to argue, dragging him to the doors, out of the school gates and all the way to his house.

He’s going to fix this.

———

At Yeonjun’s house, the two are sitting on his bed, Yeonjun putting on some soft music, as he turns to face Taehyun.

“I’m sorry, for being so harsh earlier.” Yeonjun apologises first before Taehyun can say anything. “I shouldn’t nag at you like that, your feelings and the way you’re dealing with it is valid - I’m just really worried about you.”

Taehyun smiles at his hyung. Unbeknownst to him, almost a splitting image to the way Beomgyu smiled at Soobin.

“I know, hyung. I know you only mean the best. And you’re right, anyways. I haven’t actually been trying to feel better. The guilt is just eating at me.” Taehyun exhales, a weight lifted. It feels good to talk about it, instead of bottling everything up.

“What should I do?” Taehyun ponders out loud. “I mean, at this point I can guarantee that I like him, right? It wouldn’t make sense for all this sulking if I didn’t like him.”

“Yeah. You do, maybe a bit too much but you do.” Yeonjun chuckles as Taehyun hits him playfully. “What made you reject him, anyway?”

Taehyun’s smile drops a little bit, but he knows he has to talk about it if he wants all this to stop. For things to get better.

“I haven’t felt what I feel for him ever before… It’s different from the other crushes I’ve had before. It was something unfamiliar, something I couldn’t control. That’s why I rejected it.”

Yeonjun nods his head, understanding. Because he really does, he knows Taehyun in and out. He knows how he gets sometimes.

“I mean, it makes sense. I’m sure if you told Beomgyu this, he would understand. Because I do.”

Taehyun chuckles. “Hyung, we have a 15 year friendship under us. Of course you do.”

“And Beomgyu isn’t worth even trying to make him understand?”

Taehyun goes silent, because no words are needed.

The answer is simple.

Of course he is.

———

Walking into the school the next Monday, Taehyun is now the one on a mission. He has to talk to Beomgyu, he has to explain it to him. He has to fix the damage he caused. He needs to see the spark in Beomgyu's eyes again.

He walks into their classroom, sighing in relief as he sees Beomgyu already inside.

He's not alone, however.

Sitting in front of him, way too close for comfort, is someone Taehyun doesn't recognise. He's older, perhaps a senior, and he's very obviously flirting with the younger. Beomgyu is blushing, something Taehyun missed seeing. An angry, green feeling bubbles in Taehyun's stomach, which he decides to pointedly ignore. He has no right to get jealous.

As the senior leaves and Taehyun gets a better look at him, he recalls seeing that face in the one basketball match he's been to. So he's popular. Taehyun looks back at Beomgyu, blush still evident on his cheeks. Taehyun frowns.

"Beomgyu hyung?" Taehyun walks up to the older, wary that this is the first time they've spoken to each other in a good 3 weeks.

Beomgyu looks up at him in shock, which slowly turns into anger and annoyance. Taehyun's heart clenches at how Beomgyu just looking at him changes his mood so dramatically.

"I'm not talking to you." Beomgyu states, taking out his books for class.

"You don't need to say anything, just listen to me, please?" Taehyun takes the seat in front of Beomgyu, still keeping his distance. He knows 15 minutes before class starts is not a good time to talk about this, but he knows he won't have any other chance.

Beomgyu is clearly hesitant, wanting desperately to just ignore Taehyun and pretend nothing is happening. But it's childish of him to do that, so he nods.

Taehyun sighs a breath of relief. "Thank you, hyung."

"I just...wanted to give you an explanation. On why I rejected you, on why I sent you all those signals but still said no... You don't have to say anything to me, I just need you to understand."

Beomgyu's heart starts to race. He didn't expect Taehyun to go straight to it.

"I do like you, hyung. Let me just say this first. We don't know each other well, but I do like you. It's kind of crazy, how giddy I get over you sometimes... But I like it. I like that I sometimes can't form words around you. That you have a pull that I sometimes cannot resist. I really like you, hyung." Taehyun's voice is shaky, but his words filled with certainty that Beomgyu couldn't miss.

"I rejected you because I was scared, if I put it simply. I'm not the most self confident person out there, even though I try to act like it sometimes. I was scared because this...crush I have on you - if I can even reduce it to that - is something I've never felt before. I don't know how to explain it, but you make me feel things I have no clue how to handle. And I hate that, you know? Not having control. So I was scared to say yes, to fully let go of myself and show you everything in me."

Beomgyu still hasn't said anything, staying silent. He takes Taehyun's words in, trying to understand. Taehyun hopes he understands.

"I just wanted you to know that the reason I rejected you is entirely on me. It has nothing to do with you, or who you are. I need you to know that. Okay, hyung?" Taehyun stares into Beomgyu's eyes, hopeful.

The warm feeling in Beomgyu's chest comes back tenfold. He missed this feeling. He missed Taehyun.

"I understand, Taehyun." He pauses. "Thank you."

The younger smiles softly, his heart comforted.

Like Taehyun promised, Beomgyu didn't have to talk to him. He slips out of the seat, and makes his way back to the front of the class. He tries his best not to look back at Beomgyu, to see if the elder would look back at him.

As class starts, Beomgyu can't take his eyes off Taehyun. He's mesmerized once again, the fluttering feeling in his chest making a comeback. Slowly, finding it's way back home.

———

Beomgyu definitely still likes Taehyun. He didn't tell him this, but Beomgyu doesn't think he wants to. Listening to Taehyun speak, understanding the hidden meanings between the lines, he knows that Taehyun wants to work on himself before ever initiating anything with Beomgyu. And he gets it - he's glad Taehyun is doing this, but he can't help the slight disappointment he feels. To hear the words 'I like you' from you crush but not being able to progress the relationship to anything more than just classmates hurts. Call him selfish, but he just really wants to be able to love Taehyun.

It's summer break now, meaning the two don't even see each other anymore. Beomgyu only knows Taehyun is working at a café through social media, but he doesn't even know what store. He gets the urge to see him, sometimes. To go up to him, tell him he can work on himself while they're together, but Taehyun deserves his own space. Beomgyu mostly stays at home, bored out of his mind. He meets up with Soobin frequently, and his other friends from time to time.

Including his newest friend, Sunwoo. Beomgyu has no idea why the immensely popular senior had approached him in the first place, but Beomgyu was honestly thriving under the attention he received from him. Sunwoo had admittedly flirted with him at first, (a huge surprise to Beomgyu, by the way) but now they were closer to brothers than anything else.

"So! What do you want to do today, kid?" Sunwoo ruffles with Beomgyu's hair, much to his annoyance.

"You're literally just a year older than me." Beomgyu says with a straight face, trying to seem angry. He really isn't.

"Still a kid." Sunwoo smiles. "So, what's your plan?"

Beomgyu ponders the question for a while. "I'm craving cake."

Sunwoo laughs, "That's it?"

Beomgyu nods, excitedly. Maybe he is a little kid.

"Well, I did discover a new café that my friend recommended. Do you want to hang out there? We can try their cakes and see if they're worthy."

The two talk animatedly as they walked to the café, only a few minutes away from Beomgyu's house. He never knew it existed, but apparently it had recently opened. As they walk into the store, the smell of freshly baked pastries and sickly sweet drinks fill the air. Beomgyu scans the store excitedly, eager to satisfy his sweet tooth. They walk up to the counter, looking through the menu. Beomgyu's eyes widen as he spots a drink on their specials menu.

"Gummy worm Frappe?!" Beomgyu is basically bouncing on his feet with how excited he is.

Sunwoo scoffs at him. "You truly have the taste buds of a 5 year old. Anyway, just get me the pear juice and any pastry they have! I'll pay you back after." Beomgyu pouts at that, but walks up to the counter to make the order anyway, Sunwoo leaving to find them a seat.

He rings the bell on the counter, bright smile on his face. He's so god damn pumped. A small 'Coming!' is heard from the back, and Beomgyu has his order on the tip of his tongue, ready to blurt it all out.

"Hello! Welcome to Hope's Café how can I he-" the voice abruptly stops.

Beomgyu stares at the cashier.

The cashier, who is Taehyun.

Taehyun, who has _orange_ hair now.

"Beomgyu hyung...H-hello!" Taehyun (who has orange hair!!!) chuckles softly to hide his stutter.

"Taehyun...Hi. I didn't know you were working here." Beomgyu's blushing once again. God damn it.

"Yeah, I work here with Yeonjun hyung. He's friends with the owner." Taehyun explains. "So what can I get for you?"

Beomgyu just then is reminded that yes, Taehyun works here. He came here to order food, not to meet with Taehyun.

"Uhm... Can I get the Gummy Worm Frappe with an Oreo Cheesecake and uh... Pear juice with any pastry you have?" Beomgyu says shyly. Till now, he still gets flustered by the simplest things.

He misses it, but when he was saying the second order, a frown formed on Taehyun's lips. He snaps out of it just as Beomgyu looks up at him.

"Alright. You here with someone?" Taehyun asks, even though the familiar sting at his heart returns.

Beomgyu lights up at that, glad to steer the conversation away from the awkwardness. "Yeah! I'm with Sunwoo hyung. You know, the senior from our basketball team?"

Oh. So that's his name.

Yeah, Taehyun knows him.

"Uhm. Yeah I've seen him around." Taehyun mutters, suddenly wanting the conversation to be over. He bills Beomgyu, quickly passing him the receipt and moving to make the drinks. "Thank you for ordering, I will place your drinks at the collection area once ready."

Beomgyu tilts his head at the sudden change in atmosphere, but proceeds to wait at the collection area anyway. It's not like he can say anything about it, anyway. He promised himself to give Taehyun space.

Doesn't mean he can't watch, though.

Beomgyu stares in wonder as Taehyun whips up their drinks so naturally, like he's been doing it for years. Taehyun has always been naturally good at everything – it was something Beomgyu was jealous of at first, but now he's only filled with admiration. Taehyun moves to grab the Oreo Cheesecake and pastry from the display, and places it on the collection counter without even looking up once. Taehyun puts the finishing touches on the drinks, and mutters a small 'Here you go'. Suddenly, Beomgyu is a lot less excited about the Gummy Worm Frappe.

"Taehyun?" Beomgyu tries to catch his attention before he goes back to the cashier. "It was nice seeing you again..." He tries to control the blush creeping at his cheeks, but it's impossible around Taehyun.

Taehyun seems hesitant, but he smiles and nods anyway. "Nice seeing you too. Enjoy your date." He mumbles, and busies himself with the next customer.

Only when Beomgyu enters the booth where Sunwoo is sitting, does Taehyun's words register in his brain.

A date.

He think he's on a fucking date.

Beomgyu wants to run up to him, to tell him how absolutely wrong he is, that he's still very much in love with him. (Because he is, Beomgyu thinks. He loves Taehyun. It feels right to say that.)

Beomgyu looks up to his direction again, sighing as he sees a line at the counter. Yeonjun has taken over the drink making now, and Beomgyu realises it might not be the best time.

"Beomgyu, hey. You okay?" Sunwoo waves his hand in front of the younger's face.

"Remember when I told you about Taehyun?" Beomgyu focuses on Sunwoo again.

"The guy you're like in love with? Yeah you've mentioned him like once or twice." Sunwoo teases.

Beomgyu rolls his eyes, and points to the guy who has a smile on his face (one that doesn't reach his eyes, Beomgyu notices). "That's him."

Sunwoo turns around, spotting the orange haired boy easily. "Why don't you go and talk to him?" He asks, as the line gets shorter and the sudden rush dies down.

"He thinks we're on a date." As soon Beomgyu says those words, Sunwoo spits out his drink. Woops?

"And you aren't gonna correct him?" Sunwoo asks in between coughs. Poor dude.

"What am I even going to say? Like – Hey! Actually I'm not on a date and I'm very much still in love with you even though you told me you needed space and that we barely even know each other! Thanks for the cake, by the way!" Beomgyu wants to rip his hair out.

"Sure. Or you can just tell him the first part and leave it at that. Let him know you're still available." Sunwoo takes another tentative sip of his drink. "Or do you want me to tell him?"

Beomgyu immediately puts down that idea. His hyung would definitely embarrass him more than he already has.

"Hey, look. He looks like he's on break now. Perfect timing! Go go go!" Sunwoo hits the younger until he's walking towards the counter once again.

Here goes nothing, he guesses.

———

Taehyun is in the midst of removing his apron when a voice makes him freeze midway.

"Taehyun? Can I talk to you for a bit?" A small voice that Taehyun desperately missed fills his ears.

He turns over to look at Beomgyu, trying to keep the fluttering that happens in his chest at bay.

"Uhm, sure. My break is for 30 minutes." They move to sit at a booth nearby, Taehyun grabbing his packed lunch. He feels like he's going to regret this. What is Beomgyu going to say? Is he going to break the news that he found someone better and is now in a relationship and hopes Taehyun won't feel too sad? Is he going to assume Taehyun no longer has a crush on him and think everything's ok? Because it's not. He still daydreams about Beomgyu. Constantly. He doesn't think he'll ever stop.

"-not on a date." Taehyun realises Beomgyu is already speaking.

He shakes his head, still in a daze. "Sorry, what?"

Beomgyu smiles at him. Taehyun's heart grows 3 sizes. God, he has missed this so much.

"I just wanted to clarify, that I'm not on a date. Sunwoo hyung is like a big brother to me. I don't like him." I still like you, he leaves unsaid. Maybe next time.

Taehyun stares at Beomgyu, slightly dumbfounded.

"Oh. Sorry for assuming, then." Taehyun manages to say. The awkward atmosphere returns, and Taehyun hates it so much. He can see Beomgyu does too.

Taehyun opens his packed lunch, and pushes half of it towards Beomgyu.

"Here. Eat, hyung. You can't only have cake for lunch." Taehyun's heart feels like it's running a marathon.

Beomgyu doesn't say anything, but silently grabs a chopstick and begins eating. His heart warms up at the way Taehyun looks relieved, and for the first time in ages, he lets that warmth settle.

"Thanks, Taehyun."

The two don't share another word after that, choosing to eat in silence. But unlike before, this silence was welcomed, comfortable.

It felt like coming home.

———

Over the summer break, Beomgyu finds himself frequenting the cafe, telling himself it's definitely because of the yummy cakes and definitely not because of the very cute barista. His wallet gets a lot lighter over the few weeks, but he reasons that it's worth it. He gets to talk to Taehyun. Any amount of money is worth that.

He walks into the cafe, 3pm on the dot. He likes coming at this timing, because the cafe is relatively quieter and he gets to talk to Taehyun without worrying that he's disturbing him. He waves at Yeonjun, who wordlessly points at the back of the store, knowing exactly why he's here in the first place. Beomgyu walks to the back of the store, way too comfortably for a non-employee, but he's been here too many times for it to feel awkward anymore. Besides, the cafe owner himself knows about his regular visits – so it's completely normal.

"Taehyun?" Beomgyu finds the younger replenishing the stock, arranging boxes to their rightful places.

"Hi, hyung! Can you help me with this?" The two of them lift a heavier box, placing it on the shelf. Beomgyu huffs. He should really work out more.

"With how much I help around here I should get paid too, don't you think?" Beomgyu jokes as he dusts his hands on his jeans.

"I pay you with free cakes and the chance to see my beautiful face. Is that not enough?" Taehyun teases back.

Right. Because that's what they do now.

As they got closer over the weeks, Taehyun has opened up more, allowing himself to let go a bit with Beomgyu around. Likewise, Beomgyu has returned to his dramatic self a long time ago, when he understood that Taehyun wasn't going to run away. Over the weeks, they have begun teasing each other, and have downright become shameless, which brings us back to now.

"Fine. I'll accept that I guess." Beomgyu replies. But really, it's more than enough. Beomgyu would help Taehyun in a heartbeat, if he asked.

Taehyun smiles at his answer, and walks towards the staff washroom. "I'll be right back."

Beomgyu waits at the counter outside, making small talk with Yeonjun. Over the weeks, he has learnt a lot about the senior, and has not so subtly hinted at the idea of him properly introducing Soobin to him. His best friend has done so much for him, helping him with his (very obvious) crush will be a good way to pay him back.

As Taehyun emerges from the back store with his bag in hand, Beomgyu raises his eyebrow. Taehyun has changed into his casual clothes, and looks about ready to leave.

"What are you doing? Doesn't your shift end at 6pm?" Beomgyu knows Taehyun's schedule by heart. He's definitely not wrong.

"Technically, yeah. But I requested for some time off. Our boss is coming in soon to take over me!" Taehyun says with a smile, clearly not sensing Beomgyu's (still present) confusion.

"Do you have somewhere to go? You didn't tell me." Beomgyu internally cringes as the words leave his mouth – Taehyun doesn't need to tell him everything. They aren't together, his brain helpfully reminds.

Taehyun laughs hard, and grabs at Beomgyu's wrist. His heart is definitely not going a billion miles an hour right now. He's fine.

"You silly. We're going out! I don't want the only time we see each other over summer break to be while I'm working." Taehyun pulls Beomgyu out of the store, shouting a small goodbye to Yeonjun and brings him to the warmth of the summer air.

"Oh." Is all Beomgyu manages to get out. He has been so content with the simple chance of seeing Taehyun that he didn't realise that they haven't met outside of the cafe this entire break.

"Where are we going?" Beomgyu asks, as Taehyun starts leading them to an unknown location, hand still wrapped around Beomgyu's wrist.

"I was thinking we should go to the arcade! I haven't been there in a while and I want to see you lose." Taehyun laughs, his smile brighter than the sun shining on them.

Beomgyu finally focuses back on reality with the mention of a competition.

"You're on."

———

For the next 2 hours, the two play game after game, spending way too much money and laughing until their stomachs hurt. Beomgyu can't remember the last time he's had this much fun. His cheeks hurt from smiling so much, and the happiness that fills him up is almost overwhelming.

The arcade owner gives them dirty looks for being too loud sometimes, but Beomgyu couldn't care less. As cheesy at it is, having Taehyun by his side makes him feel like he can conquer the world.

As the big red 'GAME OVER' text flashes on their screen again, Taehyun puts down the controller and turns to Beomgyu with the biggest smile on his face. Beomgyu can barely remember the time when that smile wasn't directed at him anymore.

"I guess this is a good time to stop." Taehyun is out of breath from the pure adrenaline running through his veins. "I think I clearly won!"

Beomgyu fiends offence, and exclaims. "How could you say that!" Beomgyu's competitive nature wants him to continue putting up a fuss, but ultimately his love for the younger's pure excitement wins over.

"Hey, how about I treat you to dinner as compensation?" Taehyun's smile turns softer now, but holds the same amount of sincerity behind them.

"If you just wanted to hang out with me more, just say so." Beomgyu teases. Because that's what they do.

Taehyun looks into Beomgyu's eyes, suddenly serious.

"Yes I do, hyung. I like spending time with you." Beomgyu's breath hitches.

"I-I like spending time with you too. If I could, I would spend all my time with you. Forever." He fears he's said too much, but as Taehyun smiles at him again, he realises he has said just enough.

"Well," Taehyun grabs at Beomgyu's hand again, but now intertwining theirs together. Fitting perfectly. "Let's go then."

———

As the two walk towards a nearby eatery, Beomgyu basks in the lingering warmth from their intertwined hands as the sun sets. He looks over at Taehyun, who's rambling on about the trampoline park he found that they should definitely go the next time, and he lets it all sink in. How much he loves Taehyun. His eyes that contain the prettiest diamonds, a smile that Beomgyu can never get enough of. A heart that Beomgyu wants to be able to hold, to cherish, to love until the end of time. Taehyun, who makes Beomgyu so happy that he feels like he might burst. These feelings, he wants to keep in a box, locked safely for him to treasure. He never wants to stop feeling this love.

"-aybe next Saturday? How does that sound?" Taehyun is trying to make plans, but Beomgyu's too in his head, admiring the boy in front of him. A short silence settles between them as Taehyun looks at him, the same sparkle in his eye.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Taehyun tilts his head, and it brings Beomgyu back to the first time he did that. Months ago, in front of the classroom.

"Like what?" Beomgyu doesn't want to hide anymore. If he knows, then he knows.

"Like I'm the only thing you see, in this entire universe."

Beomgyu smiles. "Because you are."

They must look weird, standing in the middle of the sidewalk, just staring at each other. But as Taehyun gently takes his other hand, he learns that he (once again) does not care if he has Taehyun right next to him.

"I like you, hyung. I did back then, and I do even more now." Taehyun seems shy. He shouldn't be.

Beomgyu squeezes both of his hands, giving Taehyun the reassurance he needs.

"I've never stopped liking you."

It's a simple statement, one that Beomgyu has known for months, but the second he says it out, it feels like his worries disappear into the air. Like magic.

Dramatically enough, he does feel like crying. He wonders how he got so lucky. How he can still hold Taehyun, even after everything that happened. He thanks his lucky stars, but then realises that maybe Taehyun has been the star guiding his wish all along.

Taehyun leans forward, and they both hear their hearts racing. He stands on his tip toes, and places a small kiss on Beomgyu's forehead. As they continue their journey to the eatery, the tingles they feel never leave, and an invisible string ties them together.

Beomgyu doesn't believe in soulmates, but as they sit down at the table and he feels another invisible pull towards the younger, maybe he can change his mind.

———

Over the last week of summer break, they go on 8 more dates ('You visiting me at work once in the morning and then later at night aren't considered dates, hyung.' 'Says who? Not me!'), and they manage to become even closer than before, both emotionally and physically. Beomgyu takes any chance he gets to place a small kiss on Taehyun's lips, always fleeting and shy. He loves kissing Taehyun. He still gets giddy over the fact that he's even allowed to do that now.

In the same time frame, Soobin and Yeonjun managed to interact beyond shy 'hellos' and the four of them have been going on double dates whenever they can. Taehyun has never been surrounded by this much love in his entire life, he thinks. As he looks at his hyungs, then back at Beomgyu who is still staring at him like he holds the universe, Taehyun's heart is mended. He can feel his heart becoming lighter, his worries fading and his body feeling whole again.

But as they return to school, Taehyun realises just how fragile that wholeness can be.

"This is fucking stupid. How do they expect us to finish this project in just a week?" Beomgyu is beyond stressed, and every little thing has been getting on his nerves. It's not a good look, but he can't control his impulses.

The two of them are sat on Taehyun's living room floor, working on their newest individual projects. Taehyun looks over at Beomgyu in worry, wanting nothing but to remove the dark circles and creases on his hyung's face.

As Beomgyu lets out another sigh, Taehyun tries to help.

"It's not that hard, hyung. Just focus on each step. They wouldn't assign a project like this if it was impossible to complete." Taehyun tries to encourage Beomgyu, knowing the older is fully capable of acing this project.

"Easy for you to say." Beomgyu mumbles under his breath, quiet enough that Taehyun is sure that he wasn't supposed to hear it. His eyebrows furrow, confusion evident on his face.

"What did you say?" Taehyun questions, accusingly.

Beomgyu rolls his eyes and lets out a sigh that definitely gets on Taehyun's nerves. "I said, not everyone is smart and talented like you, Taehyun. Not everything comes easy to us, so stop acting like everyone's supposed to be as perfect as you."

Taehyun feels something inside him break. Almost like a bubble is burst. A bubble, that the two of them have been living happily in ever since summer break. It reminds him that they're still getting to know each other, and that their relationship is still barely building it's foundations. The wholeness he felt is cracked again, like a frozen lake losing its sturdiness.

His eyes grow cold, and even though he knows Beomgyu is lashing out because he's stressed, he no longer feels comfortable around the older at that moment.

"Get out." Taehyun says suddenly, voice deep.

Beomgyu whips his head up in surprise, not expecting that tone from him.

"Wha-"

"I said get out." Taehyun's voice is firm, even as he sees a flash of hurt run across Beomgyu's face.

Beomgyu, still stunned and very much confused, packs up his things and heads to the front door. He looks back, only to see Taehyun focusing back on his own project, not even a glance spared.

He walks out of the house, and an unsettling feeling replaces the warmth in his heart.

He feels the invisible string loosen, and it takes everything in Beomgyu to not cry right then.

He walks all the way back home, ignoring how much his feet ache. The numbness consumes him, making him feel like an empty shell. In the back of his mind, he knows he was being dramatic. But shouldn't Taehyun know that by now? He loves Beomgyu's dramatic personality, right?

_Right?_

———

The fragility of their relationship is even more prominent when they see each other again the following Monday, the awkward atmosphere during their lunch break almost painful. Soobin and Yeonjun stare at them, not wanting to set off what seems to be a ticking time bomb. But alas, that doesn't stop anyone else from setting it off, though.

With the brightest smile, Sunwoo puts his arm around Beomgyu, completely oblivious to the tense atmosphere. "How are my favourite lovebirds doing?" Sunwoo laughs.

Yeonjun cringes. Talk about horrible timing.

Only when Sunwoo is met with silence, does he notice how the two youngest aren't even looking at each other. Realisation dawns on him, and he mumbles a swear word under his breath.

Taehyun finally looks up, staring at Beomgyu with a blank look. "Yeah, hyung. How _are_ we?"

The two get caught up just staring at each other, the 3 outsiders starting to feel like they really shouldn't be here.

"You kicked me out of your house out of nowhere. You tell me." Beomgyu bites back.

"Out of nowhere? Are you kidding? You acted like I haven't gone through any kind of difficulty in my life. Like everything I've achieved has been handed to me, reduced to whatever 'talent' is. I worked my ass off for years and you completely dismissed that." Taehyun is angry – he didn't put himself through hell constantly to only be called 'naturally smart'. It's a major insecurity he has, but Beomgyu didn't know that. Another testament of just how little they actually know of each other.

"I was being dramatic. You know that, Taehyun. You know I was just stressed out and said things I didn't mean. Shouldn't you be used to this?" Beomgyu's voice is borderline desperate, as the feeling of Taehyun slipping between his fingers comes back in full force. He's losing him again, because he was being dramatic. Again.

"Just because I know you're dramatic, doesn't mean I will allow you to hurt me with your words just like that, hyung." Taehyun makes a move to stand up, but he's stopped by a hand grasping his.

Beomgyu holds onto Taehyun like he would disappear if he let go. As he blinks back tears, Beomgyu stands up with Taehyun, and takes a deep breath.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, for being dramatic and for not thinking about your feelings." Beomgyu's voice waivers. "I c-can't lose you again. Please."

Inside Taehyun, he realises just how broken both of them still are. The wholeness he felt before, the feeling of completeness – it was all a temporary moment of bliss. Sure, they looked whole, unbroken. But inside, the hollowness remains. He's so close to leaving again. His brain puts up a strong argument, telling him they aren't good for each other. Not now, at least.

But then Beomgyu's voice cuts through that, setting an anchor into the deep dark sea.

"We can work on ourselves – together. I need you by my side, Hyunnie. I need my lighthouse."

Taehyun looks at the older boy, and sees so much faith and hope. He sees eyes that still have their sparkle in them. He sees cheeks that are flushed. He sees a small smile that speaks a thousand words.

He sees his future.

Taehyun slides his hand down to intertwine with Beomgyu's. He smiles, as he feels the familiar warmth creeping into his heart, and the golden string between them tightening once again.

They may both be a little broken, and it will take a lot of work and trust to fix themselves, but Taehyun knows that this time, they will make sure the emptiness is filled. They will work together, side by side, to patch up the holes in their hearts. They will grow together, hurt together, and heal together.

And they do. 2 years later, after countless late night talks and lots of patience, both of them are the happiest they have ever been.

It's not perfect - of course it isn't. They still argue at times. They still succumb to the devil's thoughts once in a while. But now, more than ever, they know they have each other.

And really, that's all they ever need.

**Author's Note:**

> tada!!! my longest fic yet. ive been working on this fic on & off for about 2 months now, and it's really not the best but i decided if i dont release it now, it wld sit in my drafts collecting dust.
> 
> special thanks to helena for giving me the motivation to start this, and to finally complete it. i love you dearly! i hope you like it.
> 
> say hi on twitter! - @eternitytrack


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